For many young adults, leaving home to attend college is one of life's most important milestones. All of a sudden, you've got an unparalleled amount of freedom. When paired with the stresses that arise from moving, living with a roommate, adjusting to a new schedule, and keeping pace with difficult, demanding classes, making poor decisions is par for the course. In fact, that's exactly what college is for—learning how to adult in an atmosphere that, while not completely supervised, still provides some security and support.

Of course, some mistakes are worse than others. And if you have been called on the carpet because you've cheated academically, overstepped another student's personal boundaries, or engaged in any other type of misconduct, it's going to be hard telling your parents just how badly you've screwed up. Even if you're falsely accused, it's not an easy subject to broach. That's why we've compiled this guide to coming clean about accusations of misconduct.

How to Talk to Your Parents About Accusations of Misconduct

• Do a little planning. News that you are being investigated by your school for academic misconduct isn't the kind of thing you can just mention in passing. Make sure you talk to your parents in private and when they're not distracted by some other important task. Ask them to set aside an hour or so to give you their full attention.
• Rehearse how you'll break the news. You may want to start out by apologizing or by letting them know the allegations are false (but only if they truly are). You could open by saying you've already taken steps to rectify the situation. If you have documentation such as an email from your school, come prepared with that so you can provide all the information they need to understand what's happening.
• Take responsibility. While people who have been falsely accused of misconduct are eager to explain their side of the story and prove themselves innocent, it's important to own your behavior even—or especially—if you are guilty. Trying to cover up your actions, minimizing your involvement, or blaming another person is the wrong approach and will only make the situation worse.
• Come prepared with the next steps. A sure sign of maturity is taking the initiative to solve your own problems. You may still require your parents' assistance, of course, but show them that you've done some research rather than simply handing them your problem to solve. For example, forward them the contact info for an academic misconduct lawyer—or better yet, tell them you've already made an appointment for a consultation.
• Give your parents time and space to process this news. This is probably going to be a tough pill for your parents to swallow. Don't expect them to take the news well, or even calmly, at least not at first. If they blow up at you, say they're no longer going to support you while you attend college, or threaten other severe punishments, try not to get upset. They may well come to regret what they've blurted out in the heat of the moment. Once you've said your piece, let them talk to each other and think things through. It won't do any good to escalate an argument or let your stress get the best of you by lashing out.
• Above all else, be honest and transparent. Your parents might ask some difficult questions. Answer them truthfully. It's OK to explain your behavior if there are mitigating circumstances, but don't make excuses for it. Otherwise, you could be jeopardizing your entire relationship with some of the most important people in your life. Yes, it's tempting to gloss over the incident or chalk it all up to a misunderstanding. However, as the saying goes, the truth will come out.

Enlist the Assistance of a Powerful Ally

Allegations of academic or sexual misconduct can have grave consequences. They can remain part of your record for a very long time and can adversely affect the rest of your college experience and even your future career. The best step to take after accusations have been leveled at you is to contact an experienced attorney, like Joseph D. Lento, for expert advice. We'll stand by you and your parents, working as a team to achieve a satisfactory resolution. Call the Lento Law Firm at 888-535-3686 today.